I was looking at a twitter hashtag and it read #childless and I saw there was a lot of twitter profiles dedicated to people making a conscious decision not to have children whether they were single, in a relationship or married. They made a specific choice to not have children.
It’s about to be 2020 and I’m 35, single with no children…So am I a #childless candidate? If you knew me in my teens and twenties you would know I was shooting for a husband at least one child and a house with a white picket fence by the time I was age 30. I mean I watched my parents be together my whole life until that point.. so I said well this is what you do… right? You date a man, he falls madly in love with you he will ask you to marry him you get knocked up you buy a house with a white picket fence raise the child or children then grow old and die ….that’s how this works right???
Well in my case NONE of this ever happened I knew something was off when I was 30 and never even had a boyfriend. At that point I think I made one more last desperate attempt with a potential mate that backfired and blew up in my face. At that point I realized… Hell I don’t even like myself.
It was about 2014-2015 that would start me on the journey to learning who I was. Many people take entertainment classes to get into the movie or television industry. I wasn’t there the get into the industry. I was there to figure out who I was. I always wanted to take Acting, Sketch Comedy, Stand-Up and Voiceover. It’s 2019 and I’ve completed all of them and got something different out of all of them. I have met many people throughout the journey! But I have to say the two things that brought my personality to life were not classes.
I started a You Tube channel and Instagram in 2017 My first Instagram video dates back to February 2017 and my first You Tube upload was February 16th 2017. This is where I actually got to see who I was use my actual voice and act like actual person I am. I worked part time and full time jobs before I made the decision to become a creative entrepreneur full-time.
I remember taking a temp job at a department store in the cold winter season for (4) months right before I made the decision to freelance. It was (4) months of hell and I couldn’t wait to get let go. Surprisingly the following year I was selling accessories online on Etsy and made just as much or more than I did in that (4) months I broke my back at the department store. I didn’t have to travel to work, catch buses and trains just create and go to the post office. That has been my main source of income since that time.
It’s not easy being single and trying to make it on your own but it is extremely rewarding to know you can do it. At one time I was told by a man that I wouldn’t be able to move out and make it on my own unless I had a man.
I made it my goal to get my finances down to a science, understand credit and use money as a tool. It’s like my brain shifted and instead of thinking about being married I had to get myself in order to make sure I could take care of myself by myself.
I read books and watched so many videos that taught me about being self sufficient. After being told I couldn’t do it on my own I made it a priority to learn how to do what I was told I couldn’t do. Live on my own without a partner. That was my new mission.
I have learned how to make products for my hair, cook vegetarian and vegan food, cut down transportation cost, use credit without going into any debt, use coupons and cashback websites. I have learned to live on a tight budget but also create special things for myself so that I don’t feel deprived.
So basically I did a complete turn around and within changing my mindset more of my personality started to come out as a result me being more comfortable with myself. I’m now very comfortable in my own voice. Just writing this post goes to show how much I have grown. I was way to scared to be this vunerable in the beginning but this is my truth and I really like sharing how different I actually am. I don’t think of it as embarrassing anymore. This is the way things are for me.. Why not share it and maybe come back on a later date to see what has transpired.
I hope someone out there relates. You don’t have to have children or be married just because your age is 30, 32, or 35! Maybe I will look back at this post and say “ Wow I have a kid and a husband now” or I might come back and say “ Ok I’m 39, single and childless…time for part 2” I completely open to however my story plays out because that is how it was meant to be.
Ok I’m really feeling like I’m the watered down hood version of Carrie Bradshaw. This was a much needed to post to get me more in tune with being more open when I write just like I do with my You Tube videos and Snapchats. Make sure whatever you do in this life it’s with true intentions. The universe rewards us for it. Thank you so much for reading.