I had gotten addicted to social media. That is why I had to leave it alone. I did not want my phone to become my idol (The definition for idol means “an image or representation of God used as an object of worship) I was on the phone more than anything. Whether it was Instagram, Instagram Stories, Twitter, Kik, Tik Tok,What’s App, Snap Chat ….which I got permanently terminated from…here is the story time:
I woke up everyday and the first thing I was checking was Instagram. I was feeling way too attached to my phone and the apps on it. Live streams started to feel like my only way to communicate and when nobody came to the live stream I got so extremely sad I felt like crying. Being on social media is kind of like being in high school. You have the popular kids which are the football players, basketball players, cheerleaders and then you have the invisible unpopular kids that are just there. I was invisible in high school. I was with the unpopular crowd.
But being unpopular has its perks. The spotlight isn’t on you so you can do things under the radar and not one person will notice. So for instance I’m building these small businesses and incomes online and most people probably think Rona got me and forgot I exist…just like in high school. So it gives me back my time to do what I need to do without feeling like I have to update everybody on who I’m dating, what I ate this morning, where i’m going today etc.
I really felt like I had to update my stories every couple hours and that I had to make someone laugh. But how can you make people laugh when you’re dying on the inside. Is it fun in that moment? Yes! Do I fall into depression afterwards…. Sadly yes. You start to play mind games with yourself like are they laughing with me or at me?
On my You Tube I usually explain my breaks and I compare it to the film and television industry. The actors and actresses working on film, web series and television get breaks in between their work. They don’t go year after year filming continuously. There are breaks and off seasons in between. You Tubers do not have an off season. It’s write, record, edit, upload and repeat. After a couple years of that you will burn out.
I didn’t mean to throw Youtube into my hiatus but it just seemed like a great opportunity to give myself a much needed break. I need more direction and a schedule so I can be more organized when it comes to creating content online.
None of these apps are evil. Social media is not the devil but how we are using them is a little scary. It’s starting to get out of hand. There are a lot of social media influencers and You Tubers quitting and talking about how social media affected their mental health. This is all new. These applications haven’t even been around for (20) years so we are now starting to see the effects it’s having on society. Some of it is good and some of it is bad. I say if you need a break take it.
I have started to check in with myself every month to see how I feel and if I’m ready to go back to social media and create again. This month it was a no go. I have been seeing videos where people left social media and haven’t been back for (6) months, a year, even (3) years. I take it day by day. I feel like my mental health is more important than any comedy skit or story time I could create.